Taming Your Temperament is not just a good idea—I am convinced that it is essential to having successful relationships with family, co-workers, and friends. So we're going to tackle it together!
Your reading assignment this week: pages 49-77 and fill in the blanks at the end of the chapter.
Your first writing assignment, yes—writing—is to retake the Personality Test, if you haven’t taken it recently, (in the back of the book) AND ask those closest to you to take it, as well. It is SO important to realize WHY you and others respond/react differently to certain things; it allows you to have greater compassion, understanding, patience, and empathy.
For your second writing assignment, I would like you to choose one of your personality weaknesses and write 3 paragraphs about the most recent time you exhibited this trait (I’ll explain in greater detail during the phone call). Paragraph 1: Explain the situation and your reaction. Paragraph 2: How/if it negatively impacted those involved. Paragraph 3: How you believe you could improve on your response (react differently) and more positively impact others.
I am pushing you here—but I believe that this exercise can and will produce change that lasts!
Be encouraged,
Becky
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Dear Becky,
As I listened to the recorded call late Wednesday night, I heard you mention the lack of postings and the hope that people are taking this challenge seriously. Thank you for "pushing us" with these weekly assignments and urging us to stay committed.
As I continue to struggle with a schedule that's packed entirely too tightly, I am a little behind in the assignments, but with our students out of school all of next week for the Thanksgiving holiday, I promise to catch up and post comments on the blog. I always find writing both relaxing and very therapeutic, so I look forward to the paragraphs you assigned.
I continue to start the day with Bible reading and journaling, but I admit to rushing through sometimes. I know that life goes so much better when I take my time there; I don't think God wants us to think of time with him as merely something to check off our "to do" lists. I often ask myself what if He rushed through my many requests, sighed, and simply thought, "Well, I guess I can help her, but I've only got 20 minutes before I have something more important to take care of."
I do have some things to take care of this morning before the students arrive at school, so I'll say goodbye for now.
Thanks again, Becky, and God bless!
Wanda
I finished the personality test a week or two back.
Sure enough, I'm married to the type it said I would be! Now he wants to know exactly what that means. We didnt have that talk yet.
Still getting to the written assignment.
Thanks Becky!
Have a blessed weekend all.
I am so encouraged by the recorded phone call. As I worked through the personality test, I took the test hoping I had magically changed in the last year.
So,then I called my accountability partner and asked for her input in my personality including the weakness which really added credence to the results. I can really relate to procrastination. I identified disorganized and inconsistent.
I think the hard part is that I work for a powerful choleric and I am somewhere between peaceful and popular.
So I decided to describe the last time procrastination and disorganization happened to me which was Friday in my writing assignment and how I am going to combat this so I can be whole physically, emotionally and spiritually.
I apologized today for what occurred on Friday. On Friday, I wanted to gossip to others and say how mean this person was for what happened, but the bottom line is I did not do what was asked. However, I would not have know this had I not done the assignment this weekend.
Thank you because I know that for me accountability is the key. The problem is that it is often head knowledge not heart knowledge. That is why I weigh in each week at a local program. That is why I have a sponsor and why I stay involved in and tell any one who will listen about this ministry.
Boy it is easier to be excessively fanatic than to be consistently faithful. I have consistently journaled this time. I have been in God's word and writing in the sections of the journal I never used before like relating a verse to what I need this day.
I recognized what I have to do to work with my boss by answering that last question so I am committing to this group to organize my office, stay ahead of things that are do, clarify when I do not understand what is asked verses being afraid, complete the tasks timely even the difficult ones, come prepared to the management meetings, when asked or giving something to do just do it, bottom line do not procrastinate.
So I have a few more areas to work on but to be consistent. I know I have to be with God each day and I have to love myself enough to exercise physically and love God enough to spend time with him each day.
Here is to accountability. I am a grateful recovering compulsive eater who is a procrastinates less each day. I am so thankful for God's redemptive work in me. Blessings...Diana
The harder you work at these assignments, the more you get out of it. I'm really proud of you all--those of you who have been in one or more of my groups are leading the way with posts that reveal your "stops and steps."
You give the rest of us courage!
Becky
Just finished the writing assignments.
As a melancholy, I am very depressed when I think things are out of order and it's other people's faults (or they have taken too much of my time for me to get things in order).
I often get upset that my chronic conditions, mainly diabetes, also place demands on my time (as in doctor's appointments, having to take insulin and count carbs and remember to use my insulin pump etc).
Lately I have just about done everything to let some people know that I never get things done, and it might as well be their fault.
The reality is, it isnt always their fault and if it is, there are nice ways to employ another person's help. Becky, your 60 day challenge admonition to "do it now" has been helping. I can't blame others for my own procrastination, or for my paying too much attention to detail and not enough to the actual project.
The best way to work on this is to pray and seek God more. Ask Him for time management, ability to focus and to accomplish goals and dreams. And to ask for help, when and if it is polite and ok to do so. I have a lot more analysis but wont share it all here.
It was an excellent section.
When I first heard you talking about the 4 temperments at the spa day my initial reaction was, "Yea, yea, yea... been there, done that." But as I read the Perfect Melancholy it blew me away. There were exact words that had been used in a conflict just days before. Over the last few weeks I have gone back over and over that section of the book.
My husband is a pastor. He is very talented and capable, but our personalities are different, therefore the way he approaches things is different than the way I do. When the going gets tough at times, I am very happy to tell him exactly where I think he should be going. Doesn't it need to be done "the right way?" This chapter reminds me that there isn't really one right way. God uses me one way and my husband another way. That is God's way.
During a recent discussion with my husband about an issue at church, my husband told me how frustrating it was that all I did "was focus on the negatives" and not see the positives that God is doing in the church."
My focus on the negatives caused him to not want to discuss church with me, made him feel like I saw him as a failure, and made him second guess whether he was supposed to do what he felt God was saying or satisfy me.
This week, when another situation came up where the negatives kept combating my every thought about what was happening at church, I took it to God during my prayer time. In my journal I lamented about our spiriually "dead" members and compained to God about how it was impossible to wake them up. It makes me laugh now to picture what God must have been doing as I was writing. I think He was giggling, because when I opened my Bible it was the day Ezekiel had the vision about the dead bones coming to life. I had to go back and underline exact words in my journal that God used in that story in the Bible that morning. God is good. I have to remember to keep taking my personality default perspectives to him and have him focus them on the right things.
Teacherbrown!
Yeah--even homework given to a teacher can be helpful! I want to thank you for being so vulnerable with us.
I'm also curious--would you be willing to give me permission to share a portion of your story in my new book about "how we hear God talk" to us? It will be anonymous, of course, but your Bible reading is the perfect example of HOW GOD TALKS to us! Either way is fine with me, but I wanted to ask because I feel it will help other people.
Let me (or Reggie at the office) know!
Be encouraged,
Becky
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